


All I Ever Wanted

by Reirachan



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, but oh well, don't expect kises and smooches and fluffy this is just pure idiocy, i think, it's more gen than anything else, or maybe i'm such a hardcore kikasa shipper that it's not enough to me, the kikasa is just if you squint tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reirachan/pseuds/Reirachan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A monologue by Yukio Kasamatsu</p><p>(Based off the prompt: Kise turns into a little kid)</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the adorable anon on tumblr for prompting me with this! It always makes my day better yay!

“I hate my life. I must have spit in Jesus’s face while he was being crucified, I can’t believe my luck. All I ever wanted was to be the captain and lead the team to victory. Have a good partnership and help each other. But no, I was given demanding, stupid, annoying brats who turn into 4 year-olds out of the blue instead. Great. Just great.”

Kise could do nothing but stare up at Kasamatsu, eyes wide with some kind of guilty. Usually, he would start crying and tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that he didn’t do anything, but at the moment he was extremely terrified, and also too scared of his senpai, who was currently walking in circles around him and talking non-stop with his hands on his head.

“And now I have a 4-year-old to take care of. Our ace just suddenly became 12 years younger out of the blue. We lost our ace. To dark magic. Or whatever the fuck this is. Now I have a kid to take care of a _real_ kid, as if demanding brats who act exactly like one weren’t bad enough. No, I’ll have to find a way to be this kid’s knight in shining armor or some shit and fight fucking Cruella Devil or whatever to get him back to normal. And Moriyama doesn’t even give a fuck. He’s hitting on a girl.”

He indeed was, and Kasamatsu facepalmed in frustration, burying his eyes in his fingers.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay… Calm down, Yukio. You can do this. Or something.”

Kise nodded, without thinking. He was completely sure that Yukio could solve their problem, whatever it was. He just needed to calm down. He trusted him, and he believed that no one but Kasamatsu could solve the problem. It was exactly at that moment that Kasamatsu turned his head to look at him, though. He let out an exasperated sigh, and sat right next to him. Their startled, almost embarrassed, looks, matched each other’s, as they tried to figure out what to do.

“So, uh… Did you do something out of the ordinary today? Like running into weird diaries with strange words and trying to read it or whatever?”

He shook his head eagerly. “I’m not _that_ stupid!” he complained, and for a moment Kasamatsu was surprised that his tone was exactly the same, only, well, with a different pitch, since it was a little kid’s voice. But it was still whiny, and the pout looked the exact same way. Oh, hell, he was still cute.

“Okay, so… Do you have any enemy that would know how to use black magic?”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if Akashicchi did, but he has no reason to do that to me… Unless he finally found out that I was the one who swapped his uniform for a flower dress some years ago.” And, despite everything, Kise started laughing.

Kasamatsu appropriately facepalmed and sighed.

“Don’t you know how to concentrate?”

Kise looked appropriately apologetic. 

“Okay, so… I think you can try bathing in salt? You know, that thing they do to get rid of spirits? Or you could try lightning some incense. Or praying. Or making the 1000 Tsurus and asking to go back to normal. That would take a lot of time, though. We should probably get started like now. The problem is that you’d have to make all of them alone…” he was back to walking in circles around him, concentrated and trying to think what he could do to help him make the 1000 Tsurus, and babbling some nonsense about it being tiresome and what he could do about it. Ryouta couldn’t help but chuckle. He knew Kasamatsu was going to help him. 

_And look at him, so concentrated in finding a way to help_.

He tried his best not to laugh too loudly, as Kasamatsu started kicking Moriyama and telling him that he and the others should go now to a store and buy origami paper, while he would start lightning some incenses and thinking other ways of getting Kise back to normal just in case the Tsurus plan failed.

Everybody went to do what they were told faster than any laps they ever ran across the gym.

Xxx

Kise woke up to feel his hands completely hurt from yesterday. He couldn’t believe he managed to do all the Tsurus in just a _day_. Well, yeah, it was a simple origami, and everybody was helping the way they could, but he still had to make all 1000 of them. It took him a while to remember exactly why, but when he did, he rushed to the bathroom, to find in the mirror that he was back to normal. 16 again! With his beautiful model face smiling back at him. Kise bumpfisted the air in a loud ‘hooray!’ and immediately tried to call Senpai to tell him the news.

He certainly wasn’t expecting to hear him saying “I fucking hate my life” immediately after picking up the call.

“I must have spit in Jesus’s face in my past life. All I ever wanted was to have a peaceful life with my team. But no, here I am, being turned into a 4 year old. Why can’t I have a normal school life? Why? What have I done to the greater gods? All I want is peace. Peace to die happily, but no, I must suffer my entire life with all this magnificent idiocy. I was born just to be put in the most imbecile situations ever. And then they ask people why they commit suicide. That’s because life is a little fucking bitch.”

Kise starts laughing, because it sounds to annoyed, and whiny, and so completely _Kasamatsu_ , despite the difference in his voice.

“Don’t worry, senpai, I will buy the origami papers,” he says, and does just that.


End file.
